TORREMOLINOS , to its enduring credit, is certainly different: a vast, grotesque parody of a seaside resort, which in its own kitschy way is fascinating. This bizarre place, lined with sweeping (but crowded) beaches and infinite shopping arcades, crammed with (genuine) Irish pubs and (probably less genuine) real-estate agents, has a large permanent expatriate population of British, Germans and Scandinavians. It's a weird mix, which, in addition to thousands of retired people, has attracted - due to a previous lack of extradition arrangements between Britain and Spain - an extraordinary concentration of British crooks and more recently Russian mafia bosses. Torremolinos's social scene is strange, too, including, among the middle-of-the-road family discos, a thriving, pram-pushing, gay transvestite scene. All in all it's an intriguing blend of the smart and the squalid, bargains and rip-offs.